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Papa Roach - Last Resort |
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OK, I'm going to try and finish the story now. So as I had said, my mom had woken up so she could wake up my little brother for school. I had decided that I'd go up to my room and lie in my bed until he'd woken up. I did, and about 5-10 minutes later, he woke up, got dressed, and went downstairs to eat. I got up out of bed a few minutes later, because, after all, I hadn't slept all night. I figured that I might as well make an effort at it. That didn't last very long though, as I wasn't really tired. So I did the only logical thing, I got up and turned on my computer. Looking back, it probably wasn't the best thing to do that early in the morning, because my mom hates the fact I spend so much time on it anyway, and she isn't really a morning person to begin with. There was a little voice in the back of my head telling me to turn it off an wait until later. Why I didn't heed that warning is something that only I can figure out, but I don't feel like it right now, so yeah. Anyway, my little brother came back upstairs, and I wanted to show him this cool program I had written. Basically, it sends text messages to any iWireless subscriber by going to http://www.iontheweb.com/ and using the form that's on their page. I had sent him a message the previous night that said he was going to die when he added money to his account next. It was hilarious, but he knew it was me right away. He he, even my lil bro knows what I'm capable of. ;) My mother didn't like the fact that I was bonding with him, so she started to yell at him. I found out afterwords that apparently I'm a bad influence on him, and not allowed to talk with him for any length of time. Bullshit I say, but I'm not even going to get into that right now. Somehow we got into an argument ("somehow", I mean, it was just so spontaneous, and we never get into any kind of arguments.) For those of you who couldn't tell (and I seriously hope that those of you who couldn't tell number in the few) that last part was sarcasm. Yeah, so we got into an argument, and my dad gets woken up in the process. And you know how people just love being awaken from a peaceful slumber to yelling and argument. He was pissed, and came in my room yelling at me about how I should respect my mother more (something I've always had the urge to try, but have never quite gotten around to.) Then he walked out, and I heard him saying to my mother something about turning off my computer. She responded with, "You go do it," or something close to that. So he came back into my room, and automatically went for the socket where my computer was plugged into; doesn't even attempt to ask me to turn it off. We struggled, but he finally accomplished his goal of unplugging it. But now they're both in my room, trying to take my computer away. Now this I couldn't have, so I fought for it. I don't know how I managed to do that without hitting either one of them, but I did somehow, and that's all that matters. My mom punched me in my mouth, so now I had a busted lip (and I looked oh so beautiful.) In the end, they succeeded. I can't even begin to describe the sense of loss I had. Everything I had worked on for the past few years; all of my music, all of my poetry, all of my programs and their source code, not to mention everything else that I'm forgetting. I was so fucking pissed. I was able to assess the damage of the whole ordeal today, when I was released on pass for 6 hours. Lol, there was blood on the case, presumably from my lip. My video card was damaged and halfway out of its socket. A fan was knocked loose, plus now there's this horrible buzzing sound that can't be good. My CMOS and BIOS settings were corrupted. In other words: erased. Oh, and FYI for all of you not-so-tech-savvy people out there: configuring the BIOS from all of its factory defaults is a bitch, at least if you don't have a print out or hard copy of their current settings. If you ever find yourself in that situation, it's much easier to reconfigure if you have the settings on paper. It wasn't really a problem for me, because I've messed around with the BIOS so much that I know what settings are supposed to be, but most people don't, so just advice from someone who has a general idea of what he's doing. :-D Oh, and my clock was reset (bastards.) But I'm getting off topic, back to the story. The following days were filled with depression, crying, arguing, walking around the neighborhood to get away from my mom, police, and jello. Oh, wait, scratch that last part about the jello, that was just a dream I'd had. Heh...yeah...jello. Friday 13 started out well enough, but soon turned. That was the last time for me, I was leaving for good now. I was going to find a safe house and stay there for awhile until I'd figured things out. That idea didn't last for very long, however. My cell phone started to ring, and who should happen to be there when I answered it? None other than an officer from Cincinnati Police Department. In fact I think it was the same officer who had told me to stop being a crybaby the day I had called the police on my mother for punching me in my mouth. He told me I had two choices: either come back home or there would be a warrant issued for my arrest. That last part about the warrant being issued I kind of inferred, as I had hung up on him mid-sentence (don't you just love the phone?) So I walked back home, more pissed than ever. And what happened when I arrived back home? But of course another argument with my mother! It ended with me throwing a cup. Now I didn't throw the cup at her, as everyone seems to assume when I say, "I threw a cup." It was thrown at the ground, and upon impact shattered into hundreds pieces. I stomped back outside, still pissed about the fact that going to a safe house would only result in my arrest. The police were called yet again, but this time they were actually understanding. Obviously we talked, and finally decided upon taking me to Children's Hospital and admitting me to the psychiatric ward. I didn't mind, as I wanted to be admitted. Dealing with my mother at the present time wasn't possible, and I needed an escape. As I stated earlier, that was Friday 13 of May 2005, and today is the 21st. That's 8 days I've been locked up, the majority of which I couldn't call or talk with my girlfriend, or any of my other friends for that matter. It has not been until the last 3 days that any progress has been made at all. It's crazy, because I thought I'd be getting out yesterday, but my hopes were abruptly shattered. I'm out on another pass tomorrow, and if all goes well, I should be out on Monday. Hopefully tomorrow I'll get to at least hang out with Kiersten. I long for her. I'm like a puzzle that's missing half of its pieces. She is the other half of me, and without her I wouldn't be happy for a very long time, at least on the inside. One thing I found out about myself is that I'm passive aggressive, something I've always tried to avoid being without any clear understanding or definition of what it is exactly. I also have trouble accepting other people's ideas, as I prefer having my own, and figuring things out on my own. Anyone else is just plain wrong. Oh, and this is in the doctor's own words, I'm arrogant too. ^_^ Yeah, so I guess it wasn't a waste. They've put me on a new pill, and made me aware of some of the things I need to work on personality-wise. And I guess the relationship that I have with my mother has improved somewhat. Well, I find myself having difficulty saying anything more, as that is the story up to the present. I'm tired. I'll try to update soon, but no garauntees as always. Make note of the song I'm listening to right now. Perfect for the mental ward right? He he. *evil smirks* Until next time, peace.
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shadoxx428's journal
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